Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
