marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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