Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
