I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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