it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
