My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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