so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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