i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
