I don't think brook has ever known best
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
