I could have mohawked her pubes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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