Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
