I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
