I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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