So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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