Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I take back everything I said about communal showers
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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