sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The struggles of a small town man whore
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
