If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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