Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
