So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
