we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
