you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
is it fun? or sober?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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