Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't turn off my feet"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
