Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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