I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
