If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
