butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
