He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
