you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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