There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
