I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
