Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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