I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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