I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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