He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
