I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
