im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
