never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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