It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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