so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
