I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
