Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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