you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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