two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
