i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
