i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
