question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
