you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
handjob tips. give me some.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
