I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
