Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
