This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
